Jo-Jo's FABulous Review : Well, Sunday Afternoon is here again and it's off to the Fab Club - never been to a Folk Club on Sunday ? Well, this is what to do: get up late (everyone is entitled to a lay-in on Sundays !) Take joint out of 'fridge (that's a lump of meat, not something you smoke !) place in oven on High, then boil some potatoes, take out joint, place potatoes round the joint, put back in oven on a VERY low light - you are going to be away quite some time and THEN . . . pop along to Orsett Cock in Grays (A13) be there at 2.30pm . . . and this is what happens: MIKE PARROTT kicked off the afternoon proceedings, with a song called "Starstruck" written by Gordon Shears, sung very well with his delicate finger-picking on the guitar - lovely. Mike was our Compere for the afternoon and handled the proceedings admirably - he is also a Part Time Radio DJ and Presenter of the Essex-based LINK FM and has an extraordinary talent for jokes and punchlines which he delivered with panache throughout the afternoon's events. Link FM can be found at : 101.1 FM 
Jo-Jo was next . . . (that's ME !!) As it was St Patrick's Day on 17th I decided to do an Irish song "The Galway Shawl" - I'm sure you all know this one - boy meets girl, 
they get together, then boy pushes off !!! (just like a man) then I sat down and took notes for the rest of the afternoon . . . (this Review stuff is serious business). Bernard + Maureen This couple are renowned for their "on Stage tantrums" which have the audience in stitches, Bernie always goes too fast for Maureen, whilst Maureen always goes too slow for Bernie !!! the result is an argument - well, I've not seen them hit each other YET ! - Anyway, Maureen announced that she did not have a safety net today - I gather she meant her "dots" but she played extremely well (as always) but lost it a little as Bernie 'ran away' with the tunes. His very adroit fingerwork comes over well on his English Concertina, he played today: 1 Walter Gidley's Waltz, 2 Three Hand Reel 3 Walter Bulwer's No.1, and 4 Walter Bulwer's No.2 Dennis Holmes once pointed out the fact that Bernie taps his feet in 4/4 time and Maureen taps in 2/4 time - fascinating !! 
Don (WYSIWYG) Thompson Came over from Kent (I've seen him at the "Moore or Less" Folk Club with (blind) Clive Lever playing together as "Sic Transit" - very professional, a superb evening) 
Today on his own, he did a very funny song called Hypochondria - words and music by Clive Lever - extremely humurous and clever about having all kinds of diseases. His second solo was The Plumber by Miles Wootton (he believes) another hilarious song. Don writes that: MOST of his act is his own original songs but had decided to do someone else's today. He also states that "I am now a professional Folk Singer/Songwriter and looking for Gigs - I come VERY reasonably priced !!! " - I suggest an act NOT to be missed - see you soon at Orpington mayhap? JAIL was our next performer - a young lad I've not seen before - he did Leisurely Pace first of all, about having a peaceful time with your friends - during which he travelled around the club playing to people at their tables, it was unusually funny and different! 
His second was Coin-o-matic, about going to the supermarket and shopping - I particularly liked the line "trolley wheels stuck in reverse" which we are all familiar with. Both JAIL's songs were all his own work. Catch more of JAIL at: www.jail.org.uk BILL PARDON was on next - fancy dressed in a feathered cap which also, unusually, had a Puffer Fish hanging from it ! (well, people are strange, aren't they?) His first recitation was The May Pole Dancer which was superbly negotiated. His second was a song someone had requested he do, called 15 Times a Night - about a chap who could manage it 15 times a night (funnily enuf!) - now THERE's something to shake your willy at!. Both were Bill's own compositions - GREAT lyrics, well done, Bill. 
BIG BOB was our next afternoon delight ! Bob is always good for a laugh and today was no different - he did "My GrandMother's Cat" to the tune of Grandfathers clock, all about a nasty ravenous cat - you have to hear it, very humorous. His next was a song giving us some useful tips on how to make some dosh!! - My God How the Money Rolls In was extremely well done - if you need some 'readies' see Bob ! 
Number 8 on the list was SIMON OLIVER 
a regular here at FabClub, with his family, and he chose to do another Irish number , which is one of my personal favourites, Carrikfergus (trad.) played and sung extremely well. His second song was self-penned: Peace in our Time, with a simple but effective chorus line, which everybody was happy to join in with - well done Simon, see you again soon. -------------- "There will now be a short intermission" ------------- Yep - you guessed it, the BREAK !! Little Bob "Busker Bob" was up straight after our (too) short break and he did the number called "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" in his own steady-paced style and great guitar work, now that he had very kindly borrowed a Capo from JAIL ! Have I told you Lately? was his second song - brilliantly given and played - I would not expect less ! Thanks Bob - I enjoy your stuff immensely. 
NEXT, was another newcomer as far as I am concerned, another young lad who recited four poems very much in the style of Simon Vogel from Harlow - his name is: Marco Buschini and his poems were : 1 - The Weight of Gold 2 - A Kettle Full of Heat 3 - The Man with the Dandruff Jacket, and lastly, 4 - Laughing. All his own admirable wordcraft - let's see more of you Marco, and SOON. 
DENNIS HOMES came over to my table to announce he was doing a song about rejection and it was called "Why Did You Break My Heart?" - extremely sad song - with a twist in its tail. (u gotta be here). Dennis had the presence of mind and forethought to bring along TWO guitars to accommodate his choice of songs, the first was a 6 string, but all the strings are in a single line at the top of the neck rather than 3 up 3 down. Then a quick change to a full-bodied 12 string for his second song which was written, or at least formulated, whilst walking through the streets of London on his way to work - called "London at Dawn" - what can I say here because the title says it all - but nothing here can express his brilliant performance - I just love this guy's work, he's clever and funny and well worth the trip to FabClub to see!! 
LIZ MONTGOMERY recited two poems for us, both her own work. The first was called "Childhood Worries" and about an outside loo, I think!?! (Reminded me of Charlie Haylock's Outside Toilet Inside) and then the second was a request for "Shoes" - rock on Imelda, a different pair for every outfit! More please Liz. 
Just for a change, we had another great performer (there are no dudes here at FabClub!) and his name is : MARK REED who began with a brilliant instrumental "Snowbird", just watch that tricky pickin', dainty pickin' and downright fancy pickin'. His fingers flew up and down the fret like a spider. 
An observation: I find the name 'neck' for the fret part of the guitar somewhat strange, since that particular part of the human body is rather short - surely a more appropriate name could be 'leg' or even 'arm' to reflect the length of that part of our anatomy - still there's no accounting for some things! Mark then sang one of his own lyrics "sunset vision" in his very own wonderful style. MO BAKER was on next - a good friend from Orpington Folk Club, good to see her over here (she came with Chris - see below ...). Mo sang (unaccompanied) Mary Parker's Lament by Judy Small, which told the tale of life's struggles from a woman's viewpoint. Her next song was a Joni Mitchell number called Circle Game - it goes round and round, don'tcha know ! Funny that! 
----------------- " There will now be a short intermission" ---------------- Yep, its the BREAK again !!! During the break I learned from a sexy-looking lad at the back (James - who plays SAX but left it "in the car") that he had come over with MARK BARNARD who, as some of you may remember, was a first rate artist (and probably still is) from way back in the sixties - hope to HEAR you some time Mark - come back soon! THE RAFFLE was ably carried out by Mike Parrott and Simon Oliver's two children - they even picked a winner for Simon !!!*!!! Not bad eh ? 
MARGARET BROWN was our next songstress, Margaret is of true Irish descent and so, of course, sang an Irish song - Cockles and Mussels Alive Alive Oh - accompanying herself with the Ukulele Banjo. Her next number was written by Noel Gaye, Leaning on a Lamp-post - a song that I sometimes sing, which she then split into Cleaning Windows. Thanks for that Margaret. 
MIKANORA Are a duo ranking above many others (present company excluded of course) who have a lovely easy-going style and delightful harmonies. They kicked off with Rare Ol' Times (bringing on the Irish again) a traditional song. They then went on to sing one of Mick Turner's own: "Day Job" this is a great song, with a good chorus line, and of course we all joined in, again performed in their smooth, steady, and professional style. 
Mikanora have TWO cd's "Angry Man" and "Whitby Morning" both well worth the purchase - I have one of them and I play it regularly. CHRIS SPINDLOW Chris writes " Mo and I come all the way from Surrey to support this friendly club " How nice is that? Chris (nearly) always sits on a chair backwards - if you've seen the current bill poster for Sharon Stone and 'Basic Instinct' you will know what I mean, (Incidentally, that poster is a copy-cat of David Bailey's (I think) famous photograph of The Shrimp (Jean Shrimpton a well known model back in the 60's) but luckily for us Chris was not denuded whilst singing "Last of the Great Whales" with brilliant delivery and heartfelt sadness (he often cries when singing this, and I can well understand why) - written by Andy Barns. 
He then gave us: The Chinese Bumboat Man, a "China Sea" song - very funneee -- ha! ha !! We were all grinning - something we do alot here at FabClub. HELEN Another songstress (it's good to see lots of women get up and do things !) unusually today with her Mandolin, she sang the traditional song "The Blacksmith" but suddenly gained a seat, lost the Mandolin, and carried on unaccompanied without a flicker. "Elizabeth" was her next rendition, (written by Elaine Samuels) sung ably this time WITH the Mandolin, and played to perfection. A confident singer - Great stuff Helen, always a pleasure. 
And THEN . . . TONE DEAF LEOPARD Stepped up. I want to say it truly is a benison to have such talent with us here today - see this duo NOW before they really hit the "Big Time" - and get their autographs, which will probably be worth millions in the year 2525 !!! With Trevor's strong clear voice and Sue's unequalled rhythms, they did "Folk Music Star" described in their own words as "a manic folk sweater song" (don't ask ME !!). Started off peaceful then launched into a frenzied attack on the guitar! Their next one was "the Nudist Song" about life as a 'bare belly' - rib-tickling . . . see them SOON !!! Anywhere you Can !!! 
Our 20th (phew!) and final act of the afternoon was CLAUDINE Our reverred leader started by giving us the low-down on what's coming up at FabClub - Liz Ryder (supported by Jem) on 30th March here at Orsett Cock - see the website for more details . . . She gave us "The Broken Years" written by Anthony John Clarke, which is a very sad song, beautifully sung it almost made me cry (you had to be here). With her clear diction and unique singing voice, and very able guitar style, this performer has an enviable talent - and absolutely nothing to worry about - it's a shame she only gave us ONE song... 
And with that we thanked Mike Parrott for carrying out his difficult task of keeping us all in order . . . and it was time to trundle off home and have that delicious joint, by now so tender it will melt in your mouth . . . See you next time at FAB CLUB This is Jo-Jo signing off . . . . . . . . End of Review - hope you liked it ! 