Jem Bowden's review:

Well, I’ve never seen such a turnout at the Fab Club. Over 80 people came. It was a special afternoon because it was also Claudine’s birthday party and friends old and new came from all over to join in the music and fun. There was a great buffet and a musical feast too.

First on was …..(Claudine I missed this one, so Liz said she’d write this one and Rocking Bob’s review)

Third was Mike Parrott. Mike delivered a couple of his brilliantly funny songs. His first was an Ode to Eurovision, a satirical little number about political voting in the Eurovision Song Contest. I won’t forget the parrottesque line “Vote for me, vote for me, this song sounds like Let it Be”! His next song was a bittersweet song about speed dating - Autotrader style. “I’m not looking for a car – it’s a girl I’m searching for”. But why didn’t everyone join in the “and a banana” bit of the chorus? Shame on us!

Big Bob was up next with some fine unaccompanied songs. We were lucky to have him because the previous day he had been to the Leigh-on-Sea folk festival (3 weeks early!). So it’s not just me that’s scatty. His first was “I did what I could” and then another famous one “Grandfather’s Clock”, and everyone joined in the chorus.

Then Len got up with his guitar and sang the popular Neil Young song “Heart of Gold”, playing the harmonica in accompaniment, which sounded most effective. It was nice to hear his next one, the Cat Stevens song “Sad Lisa”, because it is a lovely song that isn’t played as often as some of his other tunes.

Fran McGillivray and Mike Burke then took the stage, which was I believe their first time at the club. Fran has a very fine blues voice, and Mike a great blues guitar style (with slaps). Their first number was “Wandering Stranger” and their second a Robert Johnson “Walking Blues” with a great guitar break from Mike. Do come back – I want to hear more!

Moriarty and Roy were on next. They have only fairly recently started playing together again – it’s a great combination of guitar and Irish button accordion. They first played some Polkas, Isilly Brockers and Britches and then a slide and a reel.

Dennis Homes is a well-known local songwriter. He sang two brilliant songs of contrasting tones. The first was a sad and wistful number called “Loneliness-on-Sea” and he then had us in stitches with his “Fab Club Song”. How does he remember (and not get tongue-tied) with that amazing string of rhymes and alliterations?

Next we welcomed Ryan and Matt, who were both new to the club. It is great to hear new talent and new songs. The guitar duo played two of their own compositions, “Irate State” and “Holy Truth”. We don’t hear protest songs too often, and it’s good to be able to offer a forum where these voices can be heard.

Jo came on next and sang the lovely sea song “Shenandoah”. Everyone joined in the chorus, including some of our younger visitors. Jo braved the unconventional harmonies sportingly – well if you’re going to try out joining in for the first time, the Fab Club’s the place to do it!

Simon Oliver first heard our next singers in Torquay, and it was great to hear Terry and Fiona in darkest Essex too. Terry plays in a fine strident Carthyesque folk guitar style, Fiona adding dimension with her accomplished whistle playing. Their first number was “Down in the Valleys” which incorporated a clever rhythm change in the middle. They ended with the atmospheric “Rainbows over Donegal”. Both songs are Terry’s own compositions.

Next Rocking Bob, our “Basildon Busker”, in a fetching summer outfit, serenades us with two lovely ballads in his unique and engaging style. “If I had a talking picture of you”, and (I think) “Ladies man in Dixieland”.   Go Bob!

Barbara , normally leading  the bigger Arabian Fantasy troupe or duoing with Margaret, this time she gives us two beautiful solo dances.  The first in black, gold and white, features complex and mystical routines with a fine shawl and headdress, and is very seductive. The second dance, using a baton, is swirling and flowing,

 using foursome-like patterns. 

Next up is our Minister of Culture, Maureen, with some of her naughty stories. First one about the Social Security Office, the second about the Cup Final,

both with mischievous twists.

I’m on next (am I allowed to review myself?).  A new one, belatedly delivered for Mike Parrotts birthday – needs a bit more work still – about the “Settle and Carlisle” railway line, then The Ballad of the Violet Saloon – which I wrote for the Fab Club birthday and is especially for Claudine.  Need to use the “official” version next time on the Nutty French Womans website – she has corrected my dodgy French!

What do we have next?  Oh dear, I have not laughed so much in years.  Fab Club presents you with

“The Spencer Brothers” – complete with berets, trench coats and a bit of script trouble.  Mike and Simon do a wonderful Frank Spencer double act, featuring The Lone Ranger theme tune and Ode to Joy (comp. Beet-Oven) played on the cheeks;  Sue Leopard subject to Termination with a water pistol, and a rendition of Happy Birthday in the style of Marilyn Monroe for Claudine.

And X Factor thrown in for good luck as well as many bad jokes.  TREMENDOUS ! 

 We have so much talent in this room…

Claudine was reduced to tears by this point

 (not sure if it was shock or joy)

Be afraid, very afraid, for next we have

 TONE DEAF LEOPARD.  Unaccompanied by the normal menagerie, but unique as ever, the Leopards regale us with “As I was a-walking” – inspired by a friends wake when no one could remember more than two verses of any song – and at the end of this number they even forget the tune.  They describe the chorus as “SATS level 1” – stick your finger in your ear and go NEARGH….Then a reprise of their version of the Edith Piaf classic “I have no Baguettes” – also sometimes known as “Je ne regrette rien”.   (no, you won’t find it this English version in the Piaf back catalogue – it is all down to the Leopards- who, as they say, speak French like natives of Czechoslovakia – or should we be more PC and say The Czech Republic? No –

not really…PC and the Fab Club are mutually exclusive)

We welcome Tony Prior from the Hoy at Anchor, who continues the subversive themes of the afternoon with “I’ve an antisocial problem” to the tune of “I’m forever blowing bubbles” – (it involves breaking wind, as my mother would have politely phrased it), followed by The Turtle Song – “Will the Turtle be unbroken”.  A sly reference to the Greek philospher Aeschylus (killed by an eagle dropping a turtle on what it thought was a stone – but was a bald head – true story) and also picked up by Terry Pratchett, for those of us who have read “Small Gods”; but in this version involves a less esoteric combination of a strong wind,

a 27 storey block of flats and a caretaker…

Steve O’Kane plays for us now.  First “Talking to the Moon” – the stunning love song that is the title of his new CD; it is such a lovely song it always make me sniffle. Then a new song “Two in a Bush” which is only on its second outing.  A wistful, provocative, and fun song about different ways of looking at things – great, almost country folk delivery and masterful guitar and voice as ever. 

 I wish I could write lyrics like this.

Next we have some of our youngest performers.  First Clive and Jasmine Gray perform “Norwegian Dance” on violins (always tricky performance instruments – but very well mastered and in good tune),

then Clive (4 string bass) and James Abbott (6 string guitar and vocals) provide us with

“You Have Killed Me” by Morrissey,

and then Jasmine tap dances her way through a great piano swing piece.  Excellent stuff in front of a scary audience.   Up and coming stars indeed.

Another guest from Hoy at Anchor, Martin Fry, provides us with some entertaining poems.  One about Aging Gents problems, then some alternative Nursery Rhymes, and finally the Tale of Sonia Snell – who has an unfortunate incident with wet paint in the ladies room…

We have so many performers this afternoon, now our final few acts are limited to just one item each. 

Alan Neville – a Fab Club Virgin (– ooo! –) provides us with a great Urban Fairy Tale, with excellent guitar arrangement and super vocals – all about Prince Kevin and Princess Sharon.  Please come back soon and play us more.

Next is Joe Migdal, who says he has already been playing all afternoon at some “farmers festival” and morris dancing to boot.  Joe gets us all singing along to “The Devil and The Farmers Wife” and involves Liliburlero too, and on a wonderful mandolin.

Last – but definitely not least- MikaNora round off the afternoon with the “Kent Hop-pickers Song”  (supported by Mick’s legs - “the best in Essex” according to Claudine –

 and she has a point there!).

Mick and Nora coach us in a silly chorus and we all sing out the afternoon in “traditional stylee”.

Another FAB Fab Club.  With old and new friends joining in.  What a treat.  Happy Birthday Claudine!!!

Liz M